


"Baby Bird?"

by Wthcew



Series: My JayTim Stories [2]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Falling In Love, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Tim Drake, Jason Tood is a bit of an asshole, M/M, Self-Harm, Tim Drake Angst, Tim Drake Has a Bad Time, Tim Drake Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:41:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24865468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wthcew/pseuds/Wthcew
Summary: As his hearing started to fade away he was sure he heard- "Baby bird? Babe you here? Tim?" -Jason. But that can't be real. Jason hates him.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd
Series: My JayTim Stories [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804531
Comments: 15
Kudos: 258





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: There's suicidal thoughts here and suicide attempt. read on your own responsibility.

Six months.  
That how long it was.  
Six _fucking_ months.

Tim wants to scream. _Again_.

He knew. He fucking _knew_. Of course it would happen with Jason too. Why not? It happens with everyone else so why not with Jason?

Patrol this evening was even more horrible. You may ask _"How so?"_ Well. That have a very clear answer. Red Hood is back.

( _"I love you Jay" was whispered in the dark silence. "And I'm glad you're here" Tim didn't mind Jason not answering. He never did._ )

The night was really quite, so after 2:48 p.m red robin desperate from the streets and in a quite and small apartment Tim Drake appeared.

The walls of the apartment were white, without fingers stains or something similar. Without anything that says _"Hey, someone actually living here"_.

Everything was clean and tidy.

There weren't photos or TV, just computer and a note.

( _The morning after Tim woke up without anyone near him. Without Jason. As he walked down the stairs he expected to see Jason. But no. He was met with a note._ )

Tim made himself cup of coffee, the smell of fresh coffee hit his nose, at the past it made him smile, but now. Now hr can't feel _anything_.

Tim's parents always reminded him how rotten he was. How rotten he _is_.

He knew why Jason left him, and it wasn't unexpected, Tim always except people to leave him.

(* _I do it for you. You don't need me. I can't be with you.' was all he got. And that was on him, he scared Jason. He made him go. It's his fault. God, he made Jason go'_ )

Tim can't feel a thing. Not even the hot coffee. Well, there are some times he feels anger (at himself), and pain. Oh he felt pain so much.

He felt the pain of the migraine that always came when he didn't slept good. Which he didn't.

He felt the pain from getting beat up. He started to put himself in more danger this past months. Without back up.

He felt the pain that came with every little scar that he put in his skin with his hidden knife.

This pain made him feel better.

But there was another kind of pain. The pain he was trying to close himself from.

Like the pain of his heartbreaking. Every day. Little by little. Until all that left was something shattered to million little pieces.

He felt as if his skin had been stabbed with a million needles every time he looked at the written words on the yellowing note.

( _'It was like Jason just said: "I hate you. I never loved you. Have a good day." And damn, it hurts so much'_ )

Tim just let the mug slip away from his hands and shatter and the bit of coffee that reminded spilled everywhere as an idea started forming in his mind.

He remembered that he left the knife in the bathroom, and for his luck that's exactly where he needed to be.

He didn't even bothered to lock the bathroom door. Nobody would have come. It's not like someone care. He basically dead to anyone. So. Why not make it real?

Tim striped down from everything he wore and got inside the shower with the knife.

The cold water hit his back but he ignored it in favour of focusing on the knife and what his doing.

He never darted to cut more than a little line, but this huge gash made him feel.... happy? Yes. He was happy.

He did the same thing on the other arm and the bloody knife fell down.

The water that hit the ground started to wip away every drop of blood they could get which made them red.

After a couple of minutes that were full of dizziness Tim found himself at the ground. He closed his eyes and let the darkness consume him.

As his hearing started to fade away he was sure he heard- "Baby bird? Babe you here? Tim?" -Jason. But that can't be real. Jason hates him.


	2. Chapter 2

"Hey there pretty bird" Jason grinned under his helmet, he looked everywhere for his replac-no. He's done with calling the kid 'replacment'. The kid don't deserve it, he's too good to be replacement, and if he's Jason's replacement than Jason is Dick's and Jason really don't want to think about it like that.

"Hood" Came red's voice, it was strange to hear Tim after so long.

He sat next to Tim on the roof, trying to ignore the kids tiny flinch when their hands touched.

"What's up little red?"

"What do you need hood?"

"What? I'm not allowed to check in?"

Tim gave him a look "Last time you 'checked in' there was a bat-a-rang in my chest" And now it was Jason's time to flinch.

"Tim-"

"Codenames hood"

"I just wanted to-"

"If you need data just email me it"

"I don't need data"

"Then what?"

"I'm sorry" _for everything I've ever done to you_

"It's okay" Jason saw the small smile on Tim's face. "I have already forgave you"

* * *

Jason knows that Tim forgave him but he himself didn't.

He hate the fact that Dick is alerted when Tim hangs out with him.

He hate this stupid scar that he put on Tim's throat.

He hate the memories of him wanting Tim's death, the memories of him going after the third robin.

Tim may have forgave him, but Jason sure didn't. And he will try to do everything to make himself worthy to Tim's forgiveness and kindness. Even if he'll have to bleed for it.

* * *

Jason found out that sometimes Tim just didn't had time to make himself food, which meant that Tim would just go for days on end without food, and Jason can't let it go.

It hunts his mind.

It makes him feel bad when he sit and eat, knowing that Tim is working on a case, or doing WE stuff, or helping the other bats (And that makes him super angry because Tim does it so the other could sleep, eat or do whatever stupid things they do instead caring for himself).

So one night he decided that enough is enough and he'll be dammed if Tim will skip eating under his watch.

* * *

It was three AM and all Tim wanted to do was to close his eyes and go to sleep. But Bruce just asked him to look in some cases and Tim don't want to disappoint him and who cares if he won't sleep tonight too, he has gone longer without sleep.

He took a quick shower to wash away all the dry sweat and bit of blood from patrol, pulling on oversized t-shirt and sweat pants, thinking of ways to stay awake for another twenty four hours...

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he came from the bedroom to his living room and the smell of chicken soup filled the living room - kitchen era and as much as Tim was hungry he couldn't think of it because alarms were going off in the back of his head and all he could think of was that there's intruder in his home.

And all the panic fade away when he see _Jason Todd_ in his kitchen, sipping soup from a wooden spoon, without shirt, a towel on his left shoulder and bare foot. The small kitchen window was open, letting the wind come in and move couple of stray hairs of Jason from side to side.

"Jason?"

Jason turned his face slightly so he could look at Tim and a soft smile on his face, "Hey baby bird"

"Wha- What are you doing here?"

Jason huffed a laugh and pointed to the soup with his chin "What do you think?"

* * *

It was much more easy than what Jason thought it would.

Every day they eat dinner together and talk about everything and nothing all at once.

And every time Jason leaves Tim's house there's an ache in his heart, something that tells him that he needs to stay there, with Tim. But he pushe it away, ignore it, never thinking about it.

* * *

"Jay!" Tim run to his couch when he saw the bleeding guy on his couch.

Jason gripped the red helmet tigh in one hand and in the other he put pressure on his abandon, his eyes looking at everything but Tim had the feeling he can't see anything that was really there.

He could hear Tim running, a cabinet opened and closed and Tim's running again.

The world is spinning and his eyes are fighting his will to stay awake.

He can feel Tim's slender fingers against his skin and then everything goes black.

* * *

A groan left Jason's mouth before he opened his eyes.

He was too warm and the sun that shines on him isn't coming from the way it always does which makes him sit up (too fast because his chest throb in pain) and look around.

He blinked once. Twice. Before he realised from where he knows that room. Tim's room. He was an idiot to think that he could patrol with fever (even if it wasn't _that bad_ just last week he has threaten Tim that if he'll so much as _think_ about patrol he'll call Alfred and tell him that the boy have fever and here he is. Doing what he prevented Tim from doing) in this kind of weather.

And he also got shot. It's just his fucking luck.

Tim probably going to lecture him about that. A small smile appeared on his face at the thought of that.

"Jay?" Tim stood next to the door frame, looking at Jason with concern in his eyes "How do you feel?"

"I'm fine" A small, patient smile was on Tim's face, "You are not but at least you're better than yesterday"

"Sorry for crushing here" The smile became soft and warmer "It's okay, my sofa is actually really comfy"

Jason looked at him and smile, just wondering since when he started to think of Tim's home as _safe_ place.

* * *

It was a huge mistake. He should have never done that. He's just hurting himself. Tim will pull away any second and he'll be disgusted with Jason and Jason just ruined everything between them and-

Tim's _kissing_ him back. Tim is kissing him back. And his hands moved to Tim's hips, holding him close and Tim is hugging him.

Jason smiling against Tim's lips, just letting his mind rest and his heart does all the work.

* * *

Jason smiled as he woke up, Tim's head lie on his bare chest, little huffes leaving his mouth and his making Jason smile wider and more loving.

He warped his hands around Tim, holding him even closer of it's even possible.

* * *

"I love you Jay" Tim whispered into the dark and silence. "And I'm glad you're here" He didn't mind Jason didn't answered. He never did. He just knew that Jason felt the same, and maybe it was hard for him to say it out loud but Tim knew. He just _knew_.

* * *

"It's my fault" Jason said, looking at Dick with big, sad eyes.

"It's not your fault Jay, it's part of being vigilant"

"Yes but if I would have come faster he wouldn't have been shot"

It's not you're fault Jay, believe me"

"Whatever"

* * *

Everyone makes mistakes, no one can control it but Tim's mistake was to fall back to old habits just because Jason left ( _"And he'll never come back" His mind supplied_ )

Maybe it was what Jason wanted from the start, just to make ot hurt this much more, just like what happened when Dick took robin away or when his parents left once again. It just hurt too much and he just want it all to stop.

* * *

Seeing Tim in a hospital bed always made his heart ache, and knowing that he's laying in one because of the actions Jason did, because of _him_ Just hurt that much more.

* * *

_**I dream** _

_**of you** _

_**almost every night** _

_**Hope-** _

_**-fully** _

_**I won't wake up this time** _

* * *

.

.

.

"Jay?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to write this🤦🏼♀️
> 
> And if you want the song that I put in it's name is Freaks by Surf Cures


End file.
